Wishing for self-nonexistence... Is it a bad thing?

In all honesty, I don't think so. At this moment,

when no one is looking or knowing, I wish I could

fade away into thin air. Doesn't mean I'm killing myself, no.

Just erasing my existence like these folks in this photo.

If the world had an erase button I would have erased myself from

this very existence. Now here comes the question why.

Because I'm sick and tired of it. Sick and tired of screwing things

up and people take the fall instead of me. Sick and tired of having

to listen to one sided arguments when I'm trying to sleep and they're about me.

Sick and tired of having to live a life I wanted but am criticized for living it.

And that just fills half of my problems.

I pray that this will just wash away one day but for the past years

it just became a landfill that never stops growing. And it follows me,

wherever I go. The burden seems to weigh heavier than a tonne.

And I can't ask for it to be dropped like that, because if I do it will be

passed on to someone else, to someone I know and hold closely to.

So tell me, should there be a reason why I should exist if at this

current moment my very wish is to not to exist?

That Separation

Ever had a feeling that you know you like someone?

Yeah, that one. I feel it too but it sucks every time it comes.

I never find one that doesn't have a glass wall  that blocks

me from reaching her. You ever felt that way before?

I get it countless times. And it's not because she doesn't like me.

Even if she does some part of me screws it up.

Like these poor suckers here.

Yeah. That's how I feel. It sucks.

If I had a sledgehammer with me I would break that glass

and walk to her and ask her out but it doesn't seem to

work out. Maybe there is a reason for it. And I hope it's a

good one. Life never seems to give you a good time unless you're

marked to have one. Fascinating how life takes you on it's wonderful journeys.

And yet at the end of the day you regret nothing. Not for the sadness you felt,

nor the wrongdoings you committed, just happy with life. That is

if you live life for the sake of living. =D